Don't Suck
"You see all these churches?" the wise man observed, on a Memphis to Little Rock road trip a dozen years ago, "They were all started by the same guy... Some guy who thought every other church sucked."
And so we have All Elite Wrestling. The promotion that began because a wrestling scion, two dreamers from the California desert, and the son of a car bumper magnate thought that every other promotion sucked.
WWE, suck? Who can count the ways? From Vince's whims to PG to scripted promos, everybody has a complaint.
New Japan? Too afraid, I'm afraid.
ROH? Too thrifty. No vision. Too fat, dumb, and happy with their lot in life.
PWG? What could have been... Maybe if Danny were born with Cody's ambition, it would have happened. There is honor in being the template; just not much money.
And does Impact still exist...?
Impact, it could be argued, is AEW's greatest inspiration. It had so much potential... if only it didn't suck. If only management focused on five star matches. If only Dixie had the perceptiveness to see through Russo and Bischoff. If only the angles and gimmicks were cool, and not lame.
That is the organizing principle of AEW: don't suck. Don't put bad matches on television. Don't feature corny gimmicks. Don't run overbooked angles.
Wrestling is fun enough, they think. If wrestlers are allowed to wrestle; if people are allowed to be themselves; if leadership manages with a light touch, then fans get to enjoy the fun.
The wrestling concept is risk-averse. A great irony, to be sure.
A sporting scion risks fifty million dollars or so. The son of an all-time great wrestler leaves the world's most successful promotion. Two penniless kids from Rancho Cucamonga eschew a salary to bet on t-shirts. They raise their glasses and say, "screw it, we're going to take on the machine."
And how are these four cowboys going to do it? By obeying their fears. By doing the most 'Law & Order' thing a pro wrestling promotion can do. A safe show.
No lumbering oafs, like Kevin Nash. No corny gimmicks, like Boogeyman or the Undertaker. No foreverlong promos, like The Rock used to do.
Years ago, there was a show called 'Seinfeld'. It was safe.
There were no quips on Seinfeld; no sarcastic comebacks. The show's co-creator, Larry David, thought every other church sucked. He wanted character humor. Situational humor.
When 'Seinfeld' debuted, 'ALF' was a sitcom entering its final season. The title character, ALF (short for "alien life form"), was a puppet. The laughs came from visual gags and sarcastic quips, often followed by ALF's signature line, "Ha! I kill me." T-shirts were sold. None of these things would have been allowed on a Larry David sitcom. They all could have sucked. They all made money.
Tony, Cody, and the Bucks want to be the 'Seinfeld' of wrestling. They view WWE as a long-running ALF. To them, WWE has a large (but dwindling) fanbase of addicts. As Konnan once said, WWE fans watch the show wanting it to get better.
Part of being 'Seinfeld' is having the discipline to say "no". No alien puppets for Seinfeld; no scripted promos for AEW. No convoluted gimmick matches, no toilet humor. AEW enters its Wednesday night era with a plan to say no.
Saying "no" is simple, but difficult. It comes with a messy extract. Each "no" puts yesses at risk for burnout.
How many times can a given matchup happen? How many tag team combinations can be used to keep feuding wrestlers attached to one another?
Drama requires suspense and payoffs. Then suspense and payoffs again, all with rising stakes. Can suspense and payoffs and rising stakes happen without some risk of suck? Absolutely, it can. But for two hours? Every week? The skeptics say "no".
History provides a ray of hope from an unlikely source: WCW.
The Monday Nitro format may be the way to avoid the suck. Lots of short matches every week. Light, limited undercard angles. And the essential ingredient: intense focus throughout each episode on main event characters and angles.
Television may be friendlier than ever towards wrestling, but it is a demanding friend. A pile of money awaits, but to gain access to that pile an audience must watch. A large enough audience to allow television people to sell ads and charge subscription fees.
AEW will have wrestling matches and storylines, and they will not suck. That will be enough for some wrestling fans. To get where Tony and Cody and the Bucks want to go, they will need to be more than that.
benjamiller at icloud dot com
@benmillersb on Twitter
And so we have All Elite Wrestling. The promotion that began because a wrestling scion, two dreamers from the California desert, and the son of a car bumper magnate thought that every other promotion sucked.
WWE, suck? Who can count the ways? From Vince's whims to PG to scripted promos, everybody has a complaint.
New Japan? Too afraid, I'm afraid.
ROH? Too thrifty. No vision. Too fat, dumb, and happy with their lot in life.
PWG? What could have been... Maybe if Danny were born with Cody's ambition, it would have happened. There is honor in being the template; just not much money.
And does Impact still exist...?
Impact, it could be argued, is AEW's greatest inspiration. It had so much potential... if only it didn't suck. If only management focused on five star matches. If only Dixie had the perceptiveness to see through Russo and Bischoff. If only the angles and gimmicks were cool, and not lame.
That is the organizing principle of AEW: don't suck. Don't put bad matches on television. Don't feature corny gimmicks. Don't run overbooked angles.
Wrestling is fun enough, they think. If wrestlers are allowed to wrestle; if people are allowed to be themselves; if leadership manages with a light touch, then fans get to enjoy the fun.
The wrestling concept is risk-averse. A great irony, to be sure.
A sporting scion risks fifty million dollars or so. The son of an all-time great wrestler leaves the world's most successful promotion. Two penniless kids from Rancho Cucamonga eschew a salary to bet on t-shirts. They raise their glasses and say, "screw it, we're going to take on the machine."
And how are these four cowboys going to do it? By obeying their fears. By doing the most 'Law & Order' thing a pro wrestling promotion can do. A safe show.
No lumbering oafs, like Kevin Nash. No corny gimmicks, like Boogeyman or the Undertaker. No foreverlong promos, like The Rock used to do.
Years ago, there was a show called 'Seinfeld'. It was safe.
There were no quips on Seinfeld; no sarcastic comebacks. The show's co-creator, Larry David, thought every other church sucked. He wanted character humor. Situational humor.
When 'Seinfeld' debuted, 'ALF' was a sitcom entering its final season. The title character, ALF (short for "alien life form"), was a puppet. The laughs came from visual gags and sarcastic quips, often followed by ALF's signature line, "Ha! I kill me." T-shirts were sold. None of these things would have been allowed on a Larry David sitcom. They all could have sucked. They all made money.
Tony, Cody, and the Bucks want to be the 'Seinfeld' of wrestling. They view WWE as a long-running ALF. To them, WWE has a large (but dwindling) fanbase of addicts. As Konnan once said, WWE fans watch the show wanting it to get better.
Part of being 'Seinfeld' is having the discipline to say "no". No alien puppets for Seinfeld; no scripted promos for AEW. No convoluted gimmick matches, no toilet humor. AEW enters its Wednesday night era with a plan to say no.
Saying "no" is simple, but difficult. It comes with a messy extract. Each "no" puts yesses at risk for burnout.
How many times can a given matchup happen? How many tag team combinations can be used to keep feuding wrestlers attached to one another?
Drama requires suspense and payoffs. Then suspense and payoffs again, all with rising stakes. Can suspense and payoffs and rising stakes happen without some risk of suck? Absolutely, it can. But for two hours? Every week? The skeptics say "no".
History provides a ray of hope from an unlikely source: WCW.
The Monday Nitro format may be the way to avoid the suck. Lots of short matches every week. Light, limited undercard angles. And the essential ingredient: intense focus throughout each episode on main event characters and angles.
Television may be friendlier than ever towards wrestling, but it is a demanding friend. A pile of money awaits, but to gain access to that pile an audience must watch. A large enough audience to allow television people to sell ads and charge subscription fees.
AEW will have wrestling matches and storylines, and they will not suck. That will be enough for some wrestling fans. To get where Tony and Cody and the Bucks want to go, they will need to be more than that.
benjamiller at icloud dot com
@benmillersb on Twitter
Comments
Post a Comment